Camp... Wait, I Have To Go

Hello, my fellow people (who-probably don't exist). It's been awhile since I last blogged but I've been busy. With school. In the summer...

Pretty much, it's just camp. Except you have to go to classes and learn a whole year's worth of school in three weeks. Yeah, doesn't sound like much fun, huh? But it's... fun? Well, it's fun because of friends and my class has an awesome teacher. But the creeping faculty is just... meh.

Friends are awesome, everyone was amazingly nice and funny. No one was rude to anyone. We all took each other seriously but not too seriously and I like that. I feel comfortable here. But... here, I have to go... I'll tell you later.

My Words Of Wisdom

Fruit taste sweeter when eaten with a spoon.

Death

I say why, and I can't say how. But for some reason, I feel... sad. Lonely. Maybe unworthy. Even though I ran two miles today and worked on my summer homework for the first time this summer, I still feel cold. Like no one is out there for me. Isn't it strange. I suppose, I've been thinking a lot about death lately. Maybe that's why?

I don't consider myself Emo by any means. I don't cut, I don't have piercings. I don't wear dark clothes often. But somehow, I find myself thinking about death.

What's it like? Dying? How does it feel? Is it painless, or does one feel every second of it, until their heart stops beating. How does one spend the last seconds of their life? I always wonder. I would imagine that you would spend your last seconds reflecting on the life you had.  The good times and the bad. Maybe, it's like going towards a light, like what all those movies said. Or how about waking up in a winter wonderland. That woulds be pleasant.

Or what if it's darkness.

Pure, pitch black darkness where one is lost, cold, afraid. And for eternity, one spends time trying to search for the light, when there is none. What if, we all burn in hell. All, I mean by the normal day to day people who have not done anything wrong in the eyes of the society. What if, none of the normal people are spared. Then again, why would we deserve such punishment? What if there's nothing. We just die. What if there was no afterlife? What if we just rot away in our graves.

I don't know.

I won't know until I die and that won't happen any time soon. I don't plan on it happening any time soon.   ... gosh. I'm scaring myself. I should do that. But everything is a possibility. Nothing should be put down. I hope that there's a heaven out there. I hope I get there someday. But I can never cross out the possibilities. I should keep my mind wide open and listen, observe and wait until the day that I will finally know the answer. Someday...

Sorry, it's late...

It's late here, and I'm tired of doing nothing. Seriously. I did nothing today. All I did was write and watch Youtube videos on my forth of July. At least over the weekend, I went to a small town on the lake. It was lovely, full of people. My family and I went to the beach and were attacked by flies. I mean HUGE flies! About as big as a thumb. That really ruined the whole "beach" thing. Also, the water was freezing but the sun was hot. How is that possible? I thought that... well never mind.

It's not really worth it to post my day by day adventures in my extremely dull life. You probably don't care much. If, you're there even. Anyway, I think that I'll write a letter. A fake letter writing about a fake situation...

 Dear Ms. Lucretia Tenebaum, 


Lucretia, oh, how long it has been! Years! How long has it been since I last saw you, striding along through the fields, laughing? So young and bright back then! A lovely girl you were and I'm sure still are! Goodness! It has been many years, Lucretia, I'm am writing this letter to announce my arrival to your manor on the tenth of May. I hope you don't object, I really do miss you, old friend. I thought that it may be best for both of us, to see each other before you get married. 


Mr. Fairburn, he's quite a lucky man. I truly hope that he will admire you're golden blonde locks and sea blue eyes the way I used to. And your fair skin, you're beautiful features. I can only dream of being as lucky of a man. I have yet to find my bride,  but I know she is waiting for me out there. Maybe she's an American? Or.... I don't know. Maybe I be honest, Lucretia? But ever since I met you back when we were young. I always loved you. As I aged, I even intended to marry you. That was my dream, to watch you walking down the aisle in you're white dress. Well, now my dream has come true. Only in a different light.  



My confessions of love are useless for you are to be married in a matter of weeks. There will be no chance for you and I to ever be together. But, of all things, before you marry, I wanted to tell you my true feelings. Please, keep that in your heart. I will be with you my love in every way you could possibly need me. Though i may not be waiting at the  alter for you. I will always be your lover at heart. 


Please expect me in the coming weeks. 


Sincerely, 

Mr. Edwin Attenson